


A Most Curious Apparition

by meres_argias



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Hallucinations, alternative Ravenstag, taking the piss out of Perl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 14:49:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6333274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meres_argias/pseuds/meres_argias
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if the Ravenstag did not possess the air of dark, sensual beauty and danger that it did in the show, but instead more closely resembled a badly put together pastiche of several animals?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Most Curious Apparition

The mystifying creature hadn't budged from its initial manifestation at the clearing visible from Will's kitchen window. It was standing there, unfazed by the cold, grazing contentedly at the snow. Well, as much as a creature with the muzzle of a crocodile giving way to the long, furry neck of a camel could look content. Will wasn't quite sure how it was managing to withstand the icy wind of Virginia winter - it was stiched together from several more cold blooded animal parts, including the slithering, curvy tail of a lizard and the brittle wings of a giant butterfly on its back. Its weight was supported by what looked like four meaty chicken legs and its head was crowned by deer antlers, the only detail in this ungodly vision that wasn't entirely out of place, on its own, at least.

Will briefly considered the possibility that this was a real animal, and that he was just having an unreasonable and frankly close-minded reaction to it, reminiscent of the scientific community's refusal to believe the platypus was real in the 1790's. He dismissed it, furrowing his brow at the way the last evening light was catching on the animal's scaly tail. He was no biologist, but he was an engineer with some understanding of the physics involving carbon life forms, and could not, on rational grounds, accept that a creature built in such haphazard fashion could be alive and kicking and just casually roaming the Earth. Let alone the snowy grounds of Wolf Trap, Virginia.

Will tried to avoid looking any longer into those amber reptilian eyes, but it was futile. He couldn't escape the sudden wave of understanding that washed over him - not only was he hallucinating, but also, evidently, his hallucinations had the sophistication and regard for aesthetics of a Power Point presentation thrown together with Comic Sans and adorned with clipart. Or perhaps an e-commerce website with blinking text and a Flash intro, running on Perl. 'And yet', he mused, as he took his phone from his pocket and dialled the last number in his history, 'This is apparently my design'.

The person at the other end answered on the first ring.  
'Hannibal', Will said hesitantly, 'I need to talk to you about something'.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this fake O'Reilly book cover. I bet the people putting this together in Photoshop didn't anticipate it would be appropriated for use by our dark and sophisticated fandom.  
> 


End file.
